In my early teens, when I was much too young to understand her subtleties, I fell in love with Jane Austen. especially with PRIDE AND PREJUDICE and that novel's protagonist, Elizabeth Bennet. A cis-gender male like me was not supposed to like Austen, but I read her fervently. Somehow her vision of turn-of-the-nineteenth-century English society made me happier than my own environs in suburban Los Angeles. Well, maybe anything would have made me happier than suburban Los Angeles, but I did love Austen's witty style, the humor, the humanity, and of course the reasonably happy and romantic endings.
So how did that involve libraries? A local library is where I found my Austen novels, and the tale I want to tell centers on one particular volume, a copy of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE in a teal hardcover library binding with ultra-thick boards. No picture on the cover. No illustrations anywhere. No trace of the publisher's original dust jacket. Just Austen's words and the library checkout pocket pasted on the back endpaper.
I read it thoroughly once. And twice. And then the due date came, and I refused to return the book. I kept it. I considered it mine, never to be surrendered.
At first, it seemed that I got away with my transgression. I continued to check other books out of the library with no interruption, including the books of Asimov's Foundation series (more appropriate for my gender, to be sure).
But then. One day. At the checkout counter a stern female librarian, brown-haired and middle-aged (meaning over 30), confronted me about the volume I'd never returned. Glaring down from behind the counter, she stood twice my height—so says my memory. She demanded I return that book or pay the fine, which had become, in terms of a teenager's income, substantial.
I did not hesitate. Though quivering in my shoes, I absolutely lied. I swore on my honor that the book had been returned and could certainly be found on the shelf. (I knew the library had multiple copies.)
No go. She was not swayed. Ultimately, since I couldn't part with the book—and couldn't face the shame of returning it—I paid the fine.
Why is this my favorite library memory? Because it taught me so much. I learned, for example, that crime doesn't pay, at least not when you're such a terrible liar. I determined that bureaucratic systems, such as the library's, do sometimes keep good records. And, of course, I discovered that librarians are really tough customers.
Since then, I've been very good, I swear on my honor. And I no longer have that book. I must have returned it.